darcie devours

I'm taking it back

2010-09-06T16:07:00.000-05:00

How many times do I have to let you break my heart before it finally sets it that you’ll never be mine again? How many knife-twisting words do I let you spew at me before I know when to walk away? How many times do I let you stand on your pedestal, making me feel so small? You act so high and mighty, as if you’ve got the whole world figured out. But you run away from your own feelings. If you have any to begin with.

I gave my heart to you. And you still have it. I want it back. You don’t deserve the responsibility to hold it in your hand. You don’t deserve its all encompassing warmth. You don’t deserve to feel any comfort from it ever again. You lost those privileges. And I want it back. Do not pretend that you’re a nice guy in all of this. You’re not. You have tortured me for far too long. And I’m done. I’m done with all of it. You can so easily walk away from me, so let’s see how it feels to watch me walk away.

I’ll be needing that heart back, so that I can give it to someone who deserves it, who understands the responsibility that comes with such a precious gift, someone who I can trust not to fuck it all up, someone who won’t disappoint me. You’re not that man. You’re just a child. A child who doesn’t know how to protect the most precious gift someone can give him. Maybe one day you’ll wake up and realize what you’ve done but most likely not. You’d be the dumbest man on earth to not admit to yourself that you lost the person who would have loved you with her last breath and that you drove her away.

Me? I can take pride in that I fought for you with every fiber of my being. But I can’t have you manhandling my heart any more. So I’m taking it back. You can go fuck yourself.

10 things i hate about you

2010-07-06T16:17:00.000-05:00

I love how hard-earned your smile is.

I love that, even though you hate your teeth, your hard-earned smile fills my heart with joy.

I love that you make up songs about my cats.

I love that you love my cats.

I love that you can’t walk in flip flops and you shuffle along like a little kid.

I love your bird beak.

I love the way you make me laugh.

I love your Robert De Niro mole.

I love how you lock eyes with me when you’re on stage, making me feel like I’m the only audience member that matters.

I love how obsessed you are with sweets.

I love how you smell.

I love that you like to take baths.

I love how we would spend Sunday mornings just lounging in the tub together.

I love that we can have telepathic conversations with merely a look.

I love the way your eyes sparkle when you make a joke.

I love how my body fits perfectly into the nook of your chest.

I love that we can talk about movies for hours.

I love your Usher slides.

I love dancing with you.

I love how kissing you feels like home.

I love you.

...

I hate you for leaving.

I jinxed myself!

2010-06-29T11:43:00.000-05:00

Gah! I was going through old posts just now after I posted my recent blog in the long string of sad-sack blog posts, and I came across my contemplative NYE post about my 2009. Here's what I said:

"Even though I spent most of 2009 worrying about money, feeling lonely without a close group of friends, and regretting how much weight I put on, Greg and I got through everything pretty well, and I feel closer to and more in love with him than last year. I feel like there’s almost nothing we can’t get through—especially if he can put up with a gf who hasn’t had a full time job in almost a year.

There are definitely things I’d love to change right now, but I’m content. I love living alone, I love my relationship, and my cats are doing well. I’ve survived a hard year in one piece, and I haven’t lost my sense of humor in the process. Things can only get better in 2010, no? Knock on wood!"

I was in such a great place at the time. And I went and fucking jinxed it...

fireworks

2010-06-29T11:34:00.000-05:00

I always tend to think of Fourth of July as "our" holiday because of our first vacation to San Fran during the patriotic holiday. We had so many firsts that trip. I first told you I loved you on the air mattress of your sister's swanky downtown loft. I had wanted it to be much smoother and find the perfect moment. Something romantic and sweet. I woke up that morning while you were still sleeping and tried to plan a perfect speech--a speech worthy of the way I felt about you. I wanted the moment to be special. But after you opened your eyes and we began to whisper intimately and joke with each other on that air mattress, the words just came pouring out. My best laid plans went out the window, and I couldn't keep my love for you to myself any longer. A few days later we watched fireworks over the bay on top of your sister's roof. It was just the two of us, seemingly alone in the world, cuddling on top of the chilly deck. As we stared out over the bay, we could see the fireworks in San Fran and beyond. We felt so connected and complete. Like we didn't need anything or anyone else. The real fireworks weren't overhead, they were on that rooftop. It was in that moment that I knew I would love you forever. And here I am, dreading the impending Fourth of July. Because I know I won't be holding your hand as we stare at the sky in wonder. I won't be kissing you under a lit horizon. But the fireworks are still there. And just like the first moment I told you I loved you, the words are just waiting to burst out of my chest, just like those fireworks bursting in the sky...

The pink elephant

2010-06-22T21:36:00.002-05:00

Yes, I know I’m being all emo-y and shit. Whatever. Only one person actually reads this blog, so who cares…? Fuck it. I’ll post what I feel even if it makes people uncomfortable.

My heart is an empty vessel. What was once full of love and hope is now completely devoid of anything but despair. A part of me is missing, and I can’t get it back until you return to me. No matter what I do, I yearn for you. I yearn for your touch, your kiss, your embrace. I think of that night of my former roommate’s birthday party sometimes. As we were saying goodbye, you gently brushed my bangs out of my eyes. The touch was so innocent and kind, but it sent electricity soaring throughout my entire body. I miss that touch—the touch that lets me know I’m wanted, the touch that meant you were thinking about me.

I see you but completely without that touch, and it kills me. Every time I see you, I pinpoint the instances in which you would touch me without thought, whether I’m cooking dinner and you no longer wrap your arms around me from behind, or I’m greeting you and I’m unable to wrap my legs around your waist tightly while kissing your face, or the lack of a simple hand hold while browsing through the supermarket.

The absence of your touch is palpable for me. It’s like the pink elephant in the room that you so easily ignore but I cannot. It rears its ugly head at me from every turn and is daunting reminder that you are no longer mine—that I’m no longer allowed to touch you, that I can’t kiss your face at any moment, that we’re “just friends.” Instead, I’m stuck here, staring at that fucking pink elephant with its triumphant smirk, yearning to touch you and patiently hoping with every fiber of my being—my empty shell of a being….

I keep bleeding, I keep bleeding love...

2010-04-14T09:21:00.001-05:00

I am a picker of scabs. I’m not sure why, but I always have to pick away at the wounds. Sometimes they aren’t ready to be fiddled with and will openly bleed, possibly setting the healing time back further. And yet, sometimes they are picked at the right moment, with healed skin underneath its scabby band-aid.

Our breakup is a scab I keep picking.

I keep picking away at it, in hopes that the wounds are healed underneath, but they never are. It just keeps bleeding, bleeding, bleeding. And it’s all my fault. Because I can’t stop picking at it. I can’t curb my expectations that this is all temporary. These are wounds that may never heal. And I don’t know how much longer I can pick away at them, waiting for you.

Don't let me drown...

2010-04-07T09:15:00.003-05:00

You once told me that you thought of our relationship as some long line I had committed to waiting in. That I knew it was useless—that I’d wait forever—that I should know when it was best to cut and run instead of waiting it out. I’m more patient than you give me credit for. To me, you weren’t just some line—some destination I was racing to get to. You were never the finish line or the prize. You were the journey I was always glad to embark on—that was never tedious or unexciting. You were my voyage of happiness. You still are. Although you may have given up on us and our ship is sinking, I’m still here—I’m still knee deep in the water, desperately trying to plug the holes and keep us afloat. I will cling onto us until I go down with the ship. And, even then, I will use hope—the hope of going on the journey with you again—the hope of feeling your breath on my neck once more—as my safety device.

Forget the winners, who looked the best at the Golden Globes?

2010-01-18T09:53:00.002-06:00

So it's been a million years since I last post. Sorry! I've been busy/tired/lazy/starting a new job. But, I just HAD to post something about last night's Golden Globes. The fashion was just ON FIRE, non? Don't get me started though on some of the winners.....

See below the jump for all the photos.

Top Dresses of the Night

Zoe Saldana looked like perfection in her raspberry ruffled dress. I loved that the wavy hair matched the feel of the dress too.

Yes, Jennifer Garner played it fairly safe, but her slinky and sparkly dress is just impeccable and fits her like a glove. The whole package is gorgeous.

I love Maggie Gyllenhaal. She always takes risks, and they typically pay off. I love this peachy architectural dress. It's beautiful.

Honorable Mentions:
January Jones
Ginnifer Goodwin
Diane Kruger

Dresses I'm Iffy About
Lea Michelle from Glee looked pretty, but I just don't know how I feel about the poufy-ness of it. I think the princess dress makes her look much younger as it looks like something a 15-year-old would pick out for her first prom. But she looks beautiful.

Sandra Bullock looks great from the waist up, but I'm so unsure about all the sheer chiffon layers. It's a little too billowy, almost making her look larger. The color is beautiful though.

I HALF like the dress Drew Barrymore wore. The glass shoulder detail is unique and literally luminescent, but the hip detailing bugs me. Who wants to make their hips larger? Plus it looks tres fragile.

Honorable Mention
Marion Coitillard
Cameron Diaz

Get Out of Your Comfort Zone Already!
Kate Winslet looks good no matter what, but she really needs to go down a different road than the same ol' one shoulder, fitted bodice dress.

Reese Witherspoon also looks great, but this dress was a snooze fest to me. Go back to being sassy and bring some colors that pop on the carpet, like your yellow frock from two years ago.

Barf, You Look Like Shit
Julia Roberts, what is this boho bag lady dress?

Mariah Carey, please get this through your head: you are over 40; your boobs are sagging, and you don't have the body of Halle Berry, who can still pull off the super low cut dress. Please learn to dress your aging body appropriately. This isn't the MTV VMAs. This is a classy event. Put your girls away a bit, and stop being a diva. Thank you.

Dis-honorable Mentions
Tea Leoni
Julianne Moore

Here's looking at you, 2010

2010-01-04T11:41:00.000-06:00

These are just a few of my favorite things

2009-12-30T15:50:00.002-06:00

With the end of every year, I become super contemplative on the past 12 months. So today, I've decided to come up with a smattering of my favorite things in 2009.

Favorite Accessory
As I have mentioned before, the hat! I'm totally mad for hats, and I just ordered a turquoise, slouchy beanie from Urban Outfitters (see below). I think no other accessory this year has made its way into my wardrobe more than a hat. They are just too much fun!

PS I DID totally wear my awesome hat

2009-12-28T23:03:00.001-06:00

Cute, non?

I've been real good this year!

2009-12-28T22:56:00.000-06:00

Case in point: Darcie got a JOB! A real job that she is qualified for and might want to stay at for more than 2 days. Huzzah! I'll be copywriting at a small web publishing firm in downtown Austin, and I also get a sweet parking permit. It's like the past year has really paid off and meant something, which is almost ridiculous to think about but apparently true.

Also, my loverly boyfriend bought me a camera for XMAS, so now I can post obnoxious photos of my kitties being tot adorbs. FUN! Like this photo:

Also, because my bro works at Best Buy and decided to hook me up with a gift card for Christmas this year, I was able to pick up a brand NEW TV today. I haven't bought a new television since I was heading out for college in 2002 and needed a small set for my dorm room. I remember I spent a whopping 200 bucks at Wal-Mart and thought I was spending a fortune for a shitty 19 incher. Ha! It's like I'm a total grownup now. Weird, right?! Although I am completely happy with it, I have weird anxiety when I spend anything over $100. Maybe it's the pessimist in me. But, for someone who is seriously going steady with her DVR, it was completely necessary to have a TV I'm in love with, so I'm pretty happy.

Again, HUZZAH. What a great holiday.

Happy Holidays, y'all!

2009-12-23T11:29:00.004-06:00

So long, 2009!

2009-12-09T14:48:00.002-06:00

I’ve seen a lot of Tweets summing up (in 140 characters or less—naturally!) the user's past year. Mostly these are super positive—about getting married or promoted or buying a place—and as someone who tends to feel jealous of others’ successes, it’s been getting me down a little lately. 2009 has definitely been a trying time for me, and in order to spin it positively, I think I’d sum up my year in one word: survival. I have survived—maybe not flourished, but I have definitely gotten by without resorting to shady shit or going hungry. (Okay, fine, I haven’t survived like a homeless person or had someone die—it’s all about perspective here.)
2009 started off really rocky from the get-go. I had left my job in early December, and the day before New Year’s Eve, Greg and I got into the worst fight of our entire relationship. I legitimately thought he was going to break up with (turns out, he had legitimately thought about it…), and I spent all that day in a huge panic—and not eating. My dad even came to visit me, and I could barely touch my food because I was so anxious. (I wish I still had that problem! Curse you, cheese.) So, Greg and I went off to a NYE party feeling very awkward. Also, this party was hosted by an ex of Greg’s who I’m not on the best of terms with—okay, maybe an understatement. The party was a big bust. We decided to go somewhere else, which was also a big bust. Greg and I had our New Year’s kiss in an ally in East Austin. For some strange reason, I’m very superstitious about how you spend your NYE dictates your year—and fuck, did this one. We went back to the party, where one of our friends was fall down drunk and slapped me. Then some shady shit went down, blah blah blah. I ended up being the DD and driving everyone home. Great night.

Then comes my 25th birthday in January! I was still not employed and at odds with my roommate, so it was looking like a weird night. But, actually, the party was (mainly) a huge success. Tons of people came, and Greg and I had a nice day—even though I had a lot of tummy troubles. Everything was totally fine until some shady girl drama was stirred up by one of Greg’s friends which pertained back to not-so-friendly ex from NYE. So, the party didn’t end as well as it started but was fun nonetheless.

February and March came, and I found a super shitty job at a campus bookstore, making not much more than minimum wage. This was something I DID NOT want to do, but I had to pay the bills, and everything else wasn’t cutting it. It was so degrading to be 25 years old and constantly asked by customers what my major was. I had to keep explaining to them that this was my current full time job and wait for their reactions of horror and shock. But I sucked up my pride and did it. And even though the money was shitty and the job sucked and I was sometimes working 60 hour weeks, I had a lot of fun with the dudes who worked my shifts. I mean, at least I wasn’t doing manual labor or anything.

Granted this whole time my roommate and I were not speaking, which is an awkward situation. Also, my cat had gotten SUPER sick, and racked up hundreds of dollars in vet bills that I couldn’t afford. Everyone was suggesting I give him up, which was something I couldn’t do!

Eventually my shitty campus job came to an end, and I found a part time job contract writing for a local marketing firm. Even though the writing was dull, it paid the bills, and the hours gave me the chance to cover South by Southwest again, which was great! And, then the summer began, and I started having fun again. A couple of my friends were also not working full time, and we embarked on a “funemployment” mission to find free and fun things to do. Even though I wasn’t making a ton of money, I was paying the bills, I was healthy, and my relationship was much better. And then I moved! Even though I had originally hoped to move in with Greg, I moved into an apartment by myself for the first time. I had never lived alone—ever! And it was great. Sure, I’m a little messy, and sometimes I wish I didn’t have to remember to buy the toilet paper, but I LOVE living alone. It’s great not to have anyone to nag me or make me feel bad for being home during the day—even if I WAS actually working.

In late summer I got another part time job at a huge corporation. It was sold to me as a copywriting gig—did not turn out as such. Oh well. The job is okay, and it's definitely nice not to be scraping by, but I’m definitely ready for something a little less cubicle-y. I had hoped to cross into the new year with a job in my field, but it’s not looking so hot right now.

Even though I spent most of 2009 worrying about money, feeling lonely without a close group of friends, and regretting how much weight I put on, Greg and I got through everything pretty well, and I feel closer to and more in love with him than last year. I feel like there’s almost nothing we can’t get through—especially if he can put up with a gf who hasn’t had a full time job in almost a year.

There are definitely things I’d love to change right now, but I’m content. I love living alone, I love my relationship, and my cats are doing well. I’ve survived a hard year in one piece, and I haven’t lost my sense of humor in the process. Things can only get better in 2010, no? Knock on wood!

I'm going absolutely mad for hats!

2009-12-08T14:40:00.000-06:00

Forget boots, scarves, and jackets. The one thing on my winter wardrobe must-have list is HATS. I'm so obssessed with them, and they are everywhere! I've already bought a sparkly beanie from Forever 21 for like 7 bucks, and I could not love it more. Although it's hard for me to wear it when my hair's curly as my hair is too fat on the bottom and the hat is a smidgeon snug on my big, man-sized head! It may be hard to tell just how adorbs it is without a head underneath it though.

Another hat I bought recently is this beautiful wide brim felt hat, which is also totally in season, according to FabSugar.com. I haven't worn it yet, though, because it's almost burnt sienna and almost too orange-y for me, and I have practically no outfits that go with it, but I'm totally biding my time. It looks pretty much like the hat below--and I got it for $10!

Even Gossip Girl is getting into the hat action! Since Little J banished headbands, she has totally brought in the slouchy beanie, which is an accessory I have totally been coveting. This photo is from last season, but her current slouchy beanies are totally similar and just as adorable.

Blair and Serena also got into the hat action this episode too, though, with B sporting a chic cloche (which you can see her holding below), and slutty S hitching a ride back to NYC with a pink, sparkly beanie.

What will be the hot spring hats?! My head can only wait in anticipation.

I'm still not enthused about this season's SYTYCD, except for this

2009-12-02T10:56:00.001-06:00

Best.Dance.Of.The.Season.

I adore Ellenore for her quirkiness and how she was able to not suck even when sadled with Ryan (I'm only good for my abs) Ballroom Dancer Guy. And Jacob has better dancer lines than most of the girls on the show, so I've loved him ever since my Billy Bell left. Couple them together with choreographer Sonya (who terrifies Greg for some reason), and you have yourself some magic. Don't believe me? Watch above and try to deny it.

Plus, I'm totally digging that song, and, yes, I immediately googled this Oona lady. Check her out: http://oonamusic.com/.

Also, sorry I've been MIA for a while. I get lazy 'round the holidays. And fat. Like anyone even reads this blog anyway...

"Vampire Diaries" > "Twilight"

2009-11-24T10:36:00.000-06:00

Speaking of the New Moon movie I reviewed last week, I've been thinking a lot lately about this whole vampire craze. Now, I haven't read ANY of the Twilight, Vampire Diaries, or Sookie Stackhouse books. None. Not a single one. It's not really my thing. I'm a bigger fan of general fiction, typically by Jewish authors--go figure. But, I've seen everything that's been produced on these series. I've suffered through the Twilight movies, begrudgingly watched True Blood for a couple of episodes before I got REALLLLLLLLY into it--hello, Eric, nice to meet you. And when Vampire Diaries debuted on the CeeDub, I rolled my eyes profusefuly. However, after reading about it being the next Gossip Girl of guilty pleasures, I watched an episode on my computer before investing my DVR space on it. Needless to say, I now watch it every week, and, I may not make fans with this statement, but Vampire Diaries is SO much better than Twilight, and here's why....

Again, disclaimer, this has NOTHING to do with the books. I know the basic gist of what happens in the novels for each series, but I have not read either. This assessment is solely based on what Hollywood throws at me. Just FYI.

There is SEX
Okay, I'm not a pervert, and I don't read bodice-ripping novels, but I like my vampires sexy, which means having sex. I understand how different vampire books adhere to different traditions and myths, but I don't understand how the vampires in Diaries can handle themselves better than Edward Cullen in Twilight. I don't find it sexy how restrained he is around Bella. I want passion, which means sex. Also, I don't think it's a very veiled critique of sex and abstinence on Stephanie Meyer's part to equate having sex with basically being uncontrollably mauled to death. Eeek, metaphor overload there! [SPOILER ALERT] I also, don't appreciate the whole "no sex before marriage" trite that the Twilight characters adhere to, which also amounts to getting pregnant on their first outting. Yawn, I got all the abstinence mumbo jumbo needed from my conservative Texas HS. No thanks.

Stronger female characters
Ummm...news flash: Bella sucks. Her only goal in life is to be with Edward. She has no hobbies, no real friends, no ambitions. She's boring, lame, and setting the female movement back about 40 years. When Edward leaves her in New Moon all she does is wallow for six months and then keeps trying to almost kill herself just to see Edward one more time. It's called moving on, lady; everyone does it when their heart gets broken.

Elena in Diaries on the other hand is totally self-sufficient. She doesn't need Stefan to rescue her. She doesn't wait around for him for the plot to kick in. She is a bad ass in her own right. She's not some wallowing, whiney chick. Also, her friend Bonnie is a witch and does things with her mind. How cool.

Things happen, plots progress
I know that Diaries has the luxury of being a series instead of a handful of movies, so it can push the plot easier, but when I've seen the Twilight flicks, I feel like nothing is happening. No one is growing, no plot is really moving forward. It's kind of boring.

The special effects are cooler
I'm pretty sure the CW has the budget of an indie flick--if not less, so the fact that it can do so much with its special effects is impressive. Nothing looks super fake or cheesy. Granted we haven't seen any CGI wolves or anything, but characters get bones broken and snapped back into place, and it looks legit. People get attacked, and the blood looks real. It doesn't have no sparkly skin that looks waaaaaay out of place.

It doesn't take itself seriously
This is where True Blood definitely shines, and Diaries takes its cue from it by realizing it is a campy guilty pleasure, not fine television. Its characters tell jokes and puns--especially Ian Somerhalder, who has some great one-liners! They laugh. They don't just go around brooding and listening to emo-y music all.the.fricking.time like those Twilighters. Its full of spirit and vigor, and I definitely appreciate that each week.

And, finally....

The dudes are WAY hotter
Sure, Taylor Lautner has abs of steel, but he's 17 years old, and I'm too old for that. Plus, I don't find him attractive in the face. It's like the dude version of Fergie, and that's not enough. And Edward is just pale and brooding with weird teeth and huge hair that looks like it could use four washings before I'd let him sleep in my bed. I'm just sayin'...

Case in point:

Versus

No contest!

I made it through a screening of "New Moon" and didn't get mauled by 'tweens

2009-11-19T23:54:00.000-06:00

Seriously, people go nuts for this shit? And I'm not just talking about 'tweens because I think their moms may be worse. There was one mom, obviously trying to pretend she hadn't hit 40 yet, decked out in a New Moon t-shirt that kept asking those around her whose "team" they were on. She (and her not-quite out of the closet son) were rooting for Jacob. Obviously because he was shirtless for most of the film and likes to wear cutoff jean shorts (in the rain. during winter. in the Northwest. Go figure.) So...whatever. I'm either too old to get it or too young to be aroused by jailbait. I mean, fine, his muscles are impressive, but I can't get behind all of this. I'm sorry; I'll take Eric in True Blood any day. I mean, c'mon, check out this photo! (Minus the lack of body hair, of course; that's just a little weird.)

To check out my full review, head over to TheMoviePress.com.

I have a love/hate relationship with "Glee"

2009-11-18T11:56:00.000-06:00

Okay, so I love musicals (well, for the most part; Rent can suck my nuts). They are fun and cheesy and emotional and you have to be really talented. So, when Glee was announced last spring on Fox's schedule, I was intrigued, excited even. I knew it had the possibility to help catapult musicals out of the kitschy sphere and into mainstream America. So, the pilot aired, and I thought it was cute, but I wasn't blown away (even with the "Don't Stop Believin'" cover). Well, now nine episodes later, and I've got some definite mixed emotions about the show. I sorta love it on some levels, and I definitely hate it on others.

I feel like death

2009-11-15T21:51:00.000-06:00

Apparently too much karaoke, drinking, and strip club action will make you feel poopy. I had a great weekend, though, and Greg had a fantastic birthday due to his buddies coming into town. Also, he got to rain dollar bills y'all all over a stripper, which made his face light up quite brightly. But, now we must both suffer the consequences of too much fun and cough up horrible things... :(

Is this possibly the worst season of SYTYCD?

2009-11-12T12:51:00.001-06:00

Maybe I'm asking myself this question too early into the actual performances because last season I was asking myself the same thing around this time, only to eat my words by the end and go, "Okay, fine, this season didn't suck THAT hard." I was even excited at the prospect of having two SYTYCD seasons so closely back to back.

Man, was I naive.

It WAS too soon. Way too soon. Jeanine had barely been crowned the winner for two months when season 6 premiered this fall. And, instead of cramming the audition process into a mere three weeks, Fox dragged it on and on and on and on for months, only showing one episode a week. It was exhausting, and, by the time they actually got to Vegas week, I hardly cared anymore.

No one is particularly interesting, save for Russell, the krumper. There are no interesting back stories, no overcoming adversities, nothing that makes me want to root for people. Sure, maybe Legacy has the whole b-boy, street cred thing that Ivan had, but he's definitely lacking the joy and personality that he had way back in season 2. Remember when Ivan and Allison performed their contemporary to Annie Lennox's "Why?" It was mesmerizing. Compare it with Legacy's contemporary piece just last week.

VERSUS

No contest.

On top of the lack of interesting personalities, again, save for Russell, who is perhaps the only dancer I remotely like, everyone seems to have the personlities of cardboard. It's one thing not to have a great back story, but it's another to just be so boring I almost forget your name. Ah hem...Channing.

Also, frankly, there are just TOO many contemporary dancers. It's absurd. Minus the three tappers, who have already been booted off, so whatever.

I miss the guest judge format. At first I was excited for Adam "I Suck at Directing Movies" Shankman to be a permanent judge. I always found him extremely helpful to the dancers because he actually seems to offer constructive criticism, but now I just feel like he blathers on and on just to hear himself speak. It's a little long winded.

I refuse to accept that it's "just too soon" into the season to tell its potential. I have been completely underwhelmed by practically everyone, even the supposedly really talented ones (Nathan). There have been past seasons that have offered great pieces, even in the early, early weeks. Check out the videos below.

Season 2
Week one:

Week two:

Heidi & Ryan - Cuban Rumba

Eric | MySpace Video

Season 3
Week one:

Week three:

Season 4
Week one:

Week two:

Season 5
Week one:

Week three:

Main Site

See how much better the first three weeks have been in past seasons? I feel like one of my favorite shows is being ruined, and I'm not happy. Although, it was harder to pull videos for Season 5, so maybe, just maybe there’s a chance for this season still. Please get better soon, mmmm'kay, SYTYCD?

Sausage + beer + Germans = Awesome.

2009-11-11T12:40:00.002-06:00

It's no secret that I love meat. Because I loved animals so much as a child, I tried very hard to be a vegetarian for a while, but it failed spectacularly. Ever since I have been a meat aficionado, diving into meaty delights at every chance I get. So, of course, when the Wurstfest, the 10-day salute to saugsage, rolled into New Braunfels this year, I knew I HAD to go. I've been trying to drag someone with me for the past four years, and finally I had a willing participant in Greg, who I think I finally converted to the dark side of meaty hedonism.

Since we went for a late lunch last Saturday and had only eaten Powerbars for bfast, Greg and I were ravenous in meat anticipation. However, I didn't want to shoot my load early, so I forced him to make the rounds with me to see what we wanted to devour first. After grabbing a couple of Paulaner Oktoberfests to start our German fete, Greg made a bee line straight for the chicken fried bacon.

Let me allow you a moment to digest that last bit.

Yes, the bacon was cooked, battered, and then fried like a chicken before making its way into a trough for our consumption. Of course, I drizzled it in Ranch dressing, because why the hell not? We didn't take our own photo of the amuse bouche because we downed it so quickly, but here's a photo from the State Fair to give you the jist.

Next, we continued our meat extravaganza to include these delights:

That was Greg's FIRST turkey leg--as in ever. Can you believe that?! I had a wurst kebab, which had five different types of sausage on a stick with a roll at the bottom. Of course, my favorite was the one stuffed with cheese. Duh...

After the meat course, we were craving something sweet after downing some more German beer. Greg settled on the fried oreos, which sounds gross (well, frankly, everything sounds a little gross at the Wurstfest), but the melted chocolate cookies acted as molten fudge with a creamy center. It came smothered in powder sugar. Again, we ate it too fast, so this another photo from the State Fair.

For some strange reason, our fried doughy sweet cravings weren't satiated, and we stupidly decided to grab some funnel cake on our way out (not before buying this sweet hat, though). What a terrible idea! I waited in line for 45 minutes to buy a fairly mediocre funnel cake off a band nerd while Greg trotted off to some carnival ride that spun him upside down several times. Needles to say, he passed out on the car ride home and I groaned while grabbing my belly in regret. But, other than that, it was a spectacular day!

If I were a rich man...I would own these

2009-11-11T11:17:00.000-06:00

Online shopping is going to be the death of me.

I really love these wellies. It's been so rainy here lately, and I hate when the bottom of my pants get soaked--it takes FOR-EV-ER to dry--that I've really been dying for a pair of rain boots. These Hunter boots might be a smidge too haute couture for the corportate life, but a girl can still ogle profusely. Okay, plus they're like 150 British pounds, so no way will these make their way into my closet. Siigh.

Bored at work=online shopping

2009-11-10T13:10:00.001-06:00

I know, I know--I'm posting a shit ton today. Work is a smidge slow today. Anyhoo, since Gmail is blocked on my network (for shame!), and I have to fill my time occassionally, I guiltily shop for clothes I can't afford and quickly switch to working for reals when a cubicle neighbor walks by en route to the printer. Sitting in front of printer is no bueno.

My new obsession is this Netflix-eque site called Rate the Runway, which allows you to rent a fabulous dress for $50-200. This may sound expensive, considering I could plop down 50 bucks and walk away with two Forever 21 dresses to have until they fall apart (roughly two months...). But, I was scanning through their selection, and I could TOTALLY see myself doing this for, say, my birthday or New Year's Eve, when you really NEED an incredibly swank dress, especially when $50 can get you a $400 dress for the night. Even better--they send you two sizes, so that you know you'll get the right fit.

Right now I'm coveting these:

By Lela Rose

Retails for $1,395

(gorgeous color)

By Robert Rodriguez Collection

Retails for $650

By Badgley Mischka

Retails for $530

(love the origami effect!)

By Herve Leger

Retails for $1,350

(okay, fine, I would look like a sausage in this one with my big ol' booty, but a girl can dream, non?)

By Yigal Azrouel

Retails for $915

(metallics are so hot right now, and this mini Grecian dress is gorge)

By Catherine Maladrino

Retails for $495

(I LOVE a jumpsuit when they aren't smutty. I wonder if I'm too short to rock one?)

Stuff that grosses me out: Robert Pattinson craze

2009-11-10T12:15:00.000-06:00

Sorry, Twilight fans, he's greasy and not attractive, and I find it super disturbing that there is a documentary devoted to him called Robsessed, which came out today.

Billed as “Inside the life of Robert Pattinson," according to a rep for the release, the documentary features people Pattinson’s worked with talking about his life, as well as “industry commentators” and “a couple of diehard fans.” Apparently this is coupled with some early modeling shots of him in boxer shorts. Cue girlish screams!

You can read more about the "documentary" at EW, as well as see some clips--you know, if that's you're thing. No judgement!

Period piece not done to perfection: The Young Victoria

2009-11-10T12:00:00.002-06:00

In addition to my day job, I also moonlight as a film reviewer for TheMoviePress. You should check it out! Today, I posted my review on The Young Victoria, which follows the beginnings of Queen Victoria in her acension to the throne and her love affair with Prince Albert.

What a great season for "Mad Men," no?

2009-11-09T12:37:00.002-06:00

I've heard a lot of complaints about Mad Men being too focused on character development and not enough on plotlines, which is something I have agreed with on occassion. How am I supposed to know what every deep, meaningful stare is supposed to imply? But, I must say that this season of Mad Men rocked my world. Don't worry, I will refrain from spoiling.

Yeah, it was more focused on Don and Betty's marriage than the ad agency; sure it lacked too many scenes with Joan; sure we were missing Don's grandiose speeches given to clients about why their campaigns kick major ass; and okay, so it never addressed the whole Pete and Peggy baby thing. Fine, these are all valuable assertions. But, for me, this season finally touched on some important issues--namely the whole Don's past thing and how he and Betty will survive all the years of the lies and infidelities. In my opinion, that is the heart of the show. Of course it's always great to see the ad agency stuff, but, at the end of the day, the show is about Don Draper, and you can't delve into that without figuring out how his home life fits into the equation, which it often doesn't.

I'm gonna go ahead and say that this season was vastly superior to last year's, which was unyieldingly slow for me until the final episode. I wouldn't neccessarily say it was on par with season one, though, which was a fantastic season of television from start to finish. But, season three just kept getting better and better after a couple of bland episodes. Plus, Roger has been the MVP this year, offering up perfect zingers left and right that really keep the show from becoming downright dour at times (i.e. the season finale).

I don't want to spoil what happened in the finale, especially for you, Greg, but I can't help talking about the Draper marriage. I tend to sypmathize with Betty a lot of the time, even when a lot of people don't. It was a shitty time for women, who weren't given that many options. I mean, look at Joan, who is also stuck in a marriage that wasn't quite what she thought it would be, and Joan is anything but meek and mild mannered. And, throughout this season, I rooted for the Drapers--during the Derby when they shared their passionate moonlight kiss, and especially in Rome, when Betty was at her finest, speaking Italian and flirting with Don spectactularly. I've always wanted these crazy kids to get their acts together and stop treating each other poorly. Let's just say that last night was a kick to the gut for me, and I'm more than a little upset with Betty, who went from doting wife to just a plain brat in the last couple of episodes. I'm hoping next season won't ignore their relationship.

But, even with the unhappiness of the Drapers, I loved how the season ended, with a sense of hope and optimisim towards the future. Thankfully it's not all gloom and doom!

Rant of the Week: Serena's clothing on "Gossip Girl"

2009-11-04T09:55:00.011-06:00

I'm not gonna lie; Gossip Girl is one of my (okay, many) TV guilty pleasures. Sure, it's cheesy and immature and not very plausible most of the time, but I love watching it for some Blair and Chuck feistiness. Plus, the fashion is super swoon-worthy.

However, that being said, I cannot stand Serena's (Blake Lively) wardrobe. Ever since season two, they started dressing her in all of these suuuuuper low cut outfits. It's like the girl sprouted boobs overnight in my mind (and she very well may have). And, as much as I love boobs as the next person, I just can't condone that much cleavage on a daily basis.

Case in point: Serena wore this lovely low cut blouse to a COLLEGE INTERVIEW. What was homegirl thinking? Fine, her boots and blazer are pretty ferosh.

Then, there's this season.

Serena wore this slutty dress to her mother's wedding. Class act.

This dress was worn in the episode where Chuck opens up his speakeasy called Gimlet. Everyone comes decked in their Roaring '20s finest. Serena must have forgotten that flappers played down their cleavage.

And, my favorite look of the season: Serena's outfit for a political event.

There was a call girl dressed more demurely than Serena at this event. I frankly just do not get it. Everyone else on the show dresses so appropriately with outfits I covet on a weekly basis, yet Lively's character dresses so whore-y. And, it makes me like Lively even less when she says that she owns half of Serena's wardrobe. Unless she's talking about the shoes, which I can firmly get behind.

What is it, 2003?

2009-11-03T16:54:00.007-06:00

Yes, fine, I did it. I'm officially a blogging nerd. I've resisted these things for soooo long because I find blogs to be either a. self-indulgent (see "i'm so lonely I could die" posts or "what a fabulous party! what you can't get in? too bad!" blogs) or b. boring as shit. I don't find myself to be that interesting, let alone most people who blog. Hence why I have never joined the blogosphere.

So, why the sudden change of heart? Well, I'm technically a writer, you see, and people have bugged me for years about not having a blog. Before the whole blogging craze took off people nagged me about not keeping a journal: "A writer who doesn't have a journal?! Blasphemy," they would say. Pish posh. I kept a diary for about 9 months when I was 10 years old. I would write in it like it was going to be kept in a time capsule, and my great-great granddaughter would find it years later, so mostly it would say stuff like "Dear whoever reads this after I am long dead, today I chased this boy around. And then I came home and kissed my Jordan Knight NKOTB pillowcase. The end." Obviously, I stopped writing in it because I ran out of boys to torment, and I just never picked it back up.

Back to the question at hand--why now? The truth is that I'm getting stupider. No joke. I used to work for a newspaper until I lost my job last December, and ever since I have not had a full time writing gig. Sure, I've had odd and end jobs and some freelancing opps, but day-to-day writing? Negative. My old journalism professor kept giving me shit for not writing a book, or at least a stupid blog. So here goes. Frankly, I'm just trying to flex my writing muscles and keep myself from getting even dumber. Plus, I think I have a couple of fairly interesting things to say. Okay, not really, but I DO have a fat cat (that's him in the photo) I will write about, and he's incredibly interesting.

There you have it. I'll try to make this blog as painless as possible, and, honestly I feel like this is so late in the blogging game that it's just sad and lame now, but whatever. Mostly, I'm just gonna post things I find interesting, i.e. food, fashion, movies, pop culture, fat cats, and whatever else the Internet throws my way.

I promise never to write a "woe is me" post. Those are icky.