2009 started off really rocky from the get-go. I had left my job in early December, and the day before New Year’s Eve, Greg and I got into the worst fight of our entire relationship. I legitimately thought he was going to break up with (turns out, he had legitimately thought about it…), and I spent all that day in a huge panic—and not eating. My dad even came to visit me, and I could barely touch my food because I was so anxious. (I wish I still had that problem! Curse you, cheese.) So, Greg and I went off to a NYE party feeling very awkward. Also, this party was hosted by an ex of Greg’s who I’m not on the best of terms with—okay, maybe an understatement. The party was a big bust. We decided to go somewhere else, which was also a big bust. Greg and I had our New Year’s kiss in an ally in East Austin. For some strange reason, I’m very superstitious about how you spend your NYE dictates your year—and fuck, did this one. We went back to the party, where one of our friends was fall down drunk and slapped me. Then some shady shit went down, blah blah blah. I ended up being the DD and driving everyone home. Great night.
Then comes my 25th birthday in January! I was still not employed and at odds with my roommate, so it was looking like a weird night. But, actually, the party was (mainly) a huge success. Tons of people came, and Greg and I had a nice day—even though I had a lot of tummy troubles. Everything was totally fine until some shady girl drama was stirred up by one of Greg’s friends which pertained back to not-so-friendly ex from NYE. So, the party didn’t end as well as it started but was fun nonetheless.
February and March came, and I found a super shitty job at a campus bookstore, making not much more than minimum wage. This was something I DID NOT want to do, but I had to pay the bills, and everything else wasn’t cutting it. It was so degrading to be 25 years old and constantly asked by customers what my major was. I had to keep explaining to them that this was my current full time job and wait for their reactions of horror and shock. But I sucked up my pride and did it. And even though the money was shitty and the job sucked and I was sometimes working 60 hour weeks, I had a lot of fun with the dudes who worked my shifts. I mean, at least I wasn’t doing manual labor or anything.
Granted this whole time my roommate and I were not speaking, which is an awkward situation. Also, my cat had gotten SUPER sick, and racked up hundreds of dollars in vet bills that I couldn’t afford. Everyone was suggesting I give him up, which was something I couldn’t do!
Eventually my shitty campus job came to an end, and I found a part time job contract writing for a local marketing firm. Even though the writing was dull, it paid the bills, and the hours gave me the chance to cover South by Southwest again, which was great! And, then the summer began, and I started having fun again. A couple of my friends were also not working full time, and we embarked on a “funemployment” mission to find free and fun things to do. Even though I wasn’t making a ton of money, I was paying the bills, I was healthy, and my relationship was much better. And then I moved! Even though I had originally hoped to move in with Greg, I moved into an apartment by myself for the first time. I had never lived alone—ever! And it was great. Sure, I’m a little messy, and sometimes I wish I didn’t have to remember to buy the toilet paper, but I LOVE living alone. It’s great not to have anyone to nag me or make me feel bad for being home during the day—even if I WAS actually working.
In late summer I got another part time job at a huge corporation. It was sold to me as a copywriting gig—did not turn out as such. Oh well. The job is okay, and it's definitely nice not to be scraping by, but I’m definitely ready for something a little less cubicle-y. I had hoped to cross into the new year with a job in my field, but it’s not looking so hot right now.
Even though I spent most of 2009 worrying about money, feeling lonely without a close group of friends, and regretting how much weight I put on, Greg and I got through everything pretty well, and I feel closer to and more in love with him than last year. I feel like there’s almost nothing we can’t get through—especially if he can put up with a gf who hasn’t had a full time job in almost a year.
There are definitely things I’d love to change right now, but I’m content. I love living alone, I love my relationship, and my cats are doing well. I’ve survived a hard year in one piece, and I haven’t lost my sense of humor in the process. Things can only get better in 2010, no? Knock on wood!
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